On the evening of June 23rd, 2024, at the port of Mariehamn, Åland, five members of the Edmonds family crept aboard the MS Gabriella, a cruiseferry bound for Helsinki, amidst a cacophony of bicycle bells. This clamour was induced by the unexpected announcement that all bicycles would board first, eliciting elation and fervent solidarity amongst those of us cursed to the (human-powered) two-wheeled transportation method.

After two weeks of mosquito-ridden Åland, I was overjoyed to finally be moving on to the next stage of our odyssey: a week-long respite with family in Helsinki, a city I had never visited. For a couple of days now I had been looking forward to this ferry journey, my first ever night-ferry! The fun that would ensue! Immensely excited, I brought my bags up to the room I shared with Samuel and Elliot, discovered that we could call Mama and Daddy (in the room across the corridor from us) via the phone in our room, watched a little TV (wow! A screen!), washed and went to bed.

The next thing I knew, a periodic beeping sound jerked me violently from my slumber. The room was still dark (there were no windows) and it felt like the middle of the night. Unlikely though it seemed, it was possible that there was an emergency occurring. I shimmied out of bed, advised Samuel and Elliot to get up, and was about to open the door to seek parental advice (reflecting, as I did so, that waterproof jackets would be useful in a shipwreck) when the beeping paused. I opened the door to see Mama, who had just stopped calling us on the cabin telephone and come out to knock. “That took you a long time!” she commented, before giving orders to the effect of “It’s a quarter past eight, get up and get dressed!”. Slightly relieved that we were not sinking, but also disappointed that my night of sleep was over, I transmitted the parental instructions to the other two and soon we were up and ready to go.

An hour later, interrupted only by the rousing sighting of a destroyer, we were on Terra Firma once more. As any sensible family would do, we immediately bought a bunch of bananas, and ate them next to a large tourist market. After successfully cajoling Mama away from the moose merchandise, although not without some difficulty, we proceeded to pay visits to the pharmacy (in order to procure antibiotics for Mama) and then, most importantly, to a bakery where we obtained kanelsnurrer, coffee, and hot chocolate. Thus invigorated, we embarked on the perilous journey through the dangerous streets of Helsinki to the secret lair of the cousins Lee, where they had been hiding out for the past 15 years, only briefly spotted in the summer of 2023.

Upon arrival, we were warmly greeted by Heli and Luna, and while Mama set about telling them of our adventures and misfortunes, and Heli showed Mama hiking maps and walks, us kids got down to the real important business and started teaching Luna how to play Monopoly Deal.

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Luna proved to be more than an avid (if sub-average) Monopoly Deal player, but also a peerless tour guide. The next day, in her high-vis red T-shirt, she took us on a comprehensive tour of Helsinki, supplementing the rare historical tidbit with an abundance of creatively sourced facts, providing us with the full touristic experience. Our first stop, which we reached after a short cycle ride, was the Helsinki library. Supposedly shaped like a boat, this marvel of a public amenity should be the basis of libraries all over the world.

The chess tables on the ground floor for strangers to play against each other should have indicated to me that here was something special. But it was only once we went up the escalator that I began to feel the aura of the place. The high-tech 3d printers, laser cutters, sewing machines and other mechanical devices enraptured me at first. Then the collection of borrowable electric guitars. Then the large array of English language historical fiction. However, this was negligible, nay, insignificant, compared to what was to come.

As I perused the rows and engrossed myself in opening chapters,

[I expect that this was about to launch into a description of the board game lending part of the library – ed.] – indeed

Indeed, Monopoly Deal was to become a staple activity of our time in Helsinki. Before we were able to draw Luna in, Daniel was ensnared, and both were added to our ever-expanding Monopoly Deal statistics page.

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• cannon fort

[… again Sascha fails to finalise a blog post. Obviously a lot more happens in Helsinki, but we keep it as is for posterity -ed. …]